clockiel:

hhey uhhhhh wanna be friends with me (starts stuttering) (says an unfunny joke) (spends 10 minutes trying to think of a reply to something you say) i gotta go

(via i-spill-kisses-with-love)

oswidge:

pick up line: please

(Source: growlithed, via istalkfashion)

goddammitfenton:

if you ever feel bad about yourself, just remember this one time in my english class, we were writing horror stories and one of the girls wrote “it was friday the 13th, the night before halloween” for her opening sentence

(via theodore-bruisevelt)

Congratulations to me on achieving the worst child on this planet award.